sort of accidentally still here
I logged in to my Bear blog account this morning, intending to delete this very blog. The one that you're presumably reading now, and isn't in fact deleted.
Are you still there?
OK, what actually happened was that I wrote a new post (which has now gone mental as it seems to have made it to the Trending feed) and published it instead. In less than an hour.
The post I wrote and published was not about anything that I had saved in my blog posts ideas folder in my notes app previously, nor using any part of the 151 (approx) unfinished and undeveloped draft posts in another folder in that app either.
The whole thing just came out of me and I wrote it straight into the editor on the blog software, instead of doing what I opened Bear up to do – delete my blog.
Then I hit Publish.
And then I thought to myself, "What the fuck are you doing?" And I answered myself, "I haven't got a fucking clue." And I replied, "Well, that's about par for the course then."
But it seems that I do have a post in me every now and then. I thought they had dried up. And now I'm writing another one. So I probably don't need to delete the blog.
What I have deleted today are a lot of historic posts. That is, posts from a relatively long time ago, not posts that can be thought of as historic in any other sense.
I just can't get on with seeing stuff that I wrote about, and was important enough to me to write about, weeks or months ago, and perhaps discussing situations or things that are now resolved, no longer true, or changed in some other way. And more to the point, I will probably have changed in what my acceptance level of sharing anything about me is. Because I'm like that.
Obviously, we all change over time, but I'm prone to changing completely arse-about-face in seconds.
Contradictory. Contrary. Confused.
Some might gasp and advise me that I'll be losing the ability to see how my writing, and perhaps even how I myself have changed over time if I'm always removing stuff. But I never like younger me, even if it's only the two or three weeks ago younger me. Even just a week ago, he was not the me I am now. Not mentally anyway. He was an insufferable idiot then, and I don't like the way he did things.
And for me, a blog is a transient thing anyway. And nothing I write here will even get read again months from now, let alone be needed by anyone.
One of the things I love about Mastodon is the automatic deletion of posts over a set age. I can set it to a time span that I think I can stand to see older posts from, and the software in theory should go through knocking off posts that are over that age.
I can set some protection from deletion for posts that have been liked or boosted a particular number of times, or bookmarked ones if I've decided they need to be kept for any reason.
Bear blog doesn't have that, so I will probably have to come in and have a little manual cull myself, every now and then.
It's probably the only way to stop me deleting the whole blog instead. And apparently I still need it, so I shouldn't do that yet.
Note: I see Robert Birming was close to it today as well. Solidarity, Robert!
post link for sharing: https://skryblans.com/sort-of-accidentally-still-here
If you got this far, you may as well click the star below on your way out.